I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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