Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize