I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
