We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I checked into jail on foursquare
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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