38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
