ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
