thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
