She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
