get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
