we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize