Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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