She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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