The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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