I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize