it was like his penis was on wheels.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
