dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
