I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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