even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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