I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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