I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
