I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Still dying that you shit outside
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
