I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
