lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
