so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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