I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
tell me about the fingering
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