I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
