i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
