Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well you can't waste a boner
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
