Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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