My room smells like vodka and shame
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
