Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So apparently I’m into choking now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
