Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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