Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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