Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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