There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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