Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
