margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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