ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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