take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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