my vag is so smooth its legendary
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
