What did we do last night that was yellow?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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