yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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