The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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