we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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