do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
