He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
