I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
