I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
