i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
