the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
