Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How does one acquire holy water?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
