I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
