I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What a dumb baby whore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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