I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
