at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
