i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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