Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
