I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
