I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
